According to sources, a local ranch has decided to go green, exchanging their massive herd of beef cows for a herd of more environmentally friendly and delicious crickets. Several witnesses were on the scene as they took their crickets out to graze in a nearby field.
“Yep, we reckoned it was time to do our part for Mother Earth and our ol’ partner Bill Gates and git rid of them there methane-spittin’ cows fer good,” said ranch hand Tommy Two-Shirts. “I was a real good cowboy, but wranglin’ crickets ain’t easy, I’ll tell you what.”
The Ranch currently has 15 cowboys on staff, most of which stayed on after the change to become professional cricketboys. Insiders report it has been a challenge, as crickets aren’t easy to lasso, and most horses don’t have good cricket-sense to know how to behave around a swarm of prime crickets.
“We look forward to all of America gratefully adopting their delicious new bug diet,” said Snaart Kligvile, the owner of the ranch and an executive at BlackRock. “Git along, little land shrimps! YEE HAW!” At publishing time, the ranch confirmed they had retained a private stash of prime Angus beef for Bill Gates’ all-burger diet.
