Florida Governor and presumptive 2024 Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis has faced increasing questions about his electability amid damning allegations that during a private flight in 2019, he found himself without a spoon and still proceeded to consume a pudding cup with 3 fingers. Horrifying!
Here are 23 newly revealed DeSantis eating habits that may spell doom for his White House ambitions:
- String Cheese – chomps right into without even peeling off strings
- Raisin Bran – separates it and first eats one bowl of just raisins, then a bowl of just bran flakes
- Cheetos – crushes them up in his hands and licks them off
- Fish – tosses his head back and swallows it whole like a pelican
- Apple Juice – dips his shirt sleeves into the juice and wrings it out into his mouth
- Animal Crackers – pretends he’s a giant devouring all the helpless creatures of the jungle
- Oreos – licks the frosting off, puts the cookies back into the package
- Pop Rocks – leans over next to your ear and opens his mouth
- French Fries – cracks them open to eat the insides like crab legs
- Chicken Nuggets – meticulously peels the skin off first
- Bugles – sticks them onto his fingers and pretends he’s Wolverine
- Teddy Graham’s – names them all and makes up little bear adventures for them to go on in Bearland
- Fun Dip – snorts it
- Oranges – tosses it down the hatch whole and unpeeled
- Apples – same as oranges
- Pizza – picks the toppings off with chopsticks and then slurps the cheese off
- PB&J – uses the same knife in both peanut butter & jelly jars, licks off in between applications
- Hamburger – takes a bite then squirts the condiments in his mouth
- Sushi – politely uses a fork and knife
- Rice – raw, one grain at a time, chewed like sunflower seeds
- Chicken Wings – crunches down the whole thing, swallows the bone
- Subway – nothing weird here, just the fact that he eats Subway
- Alphabet Soup – rearranges the letters to spell out “President Ron DeSantis”
And that’s it. Before he could even get started, DeSantis was finished. It was nice knowing you, Ron!