Government Clarifies Alert Message Reading ‘THE ARACHNIDS ARE HERE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!’ Just A Test

The federal government quickly reminded everyone that the emergency alert telling everyone to run for their lives from invading arachnids was merely a test. “To clarify, the message that we are all about to die was just a test,” said the White House. “We’re going to assume from the millions of dead boomers lying in … Read more