Feinstein Says A Recent Jedi Attempt On Her Life Has Left Her Scarred And Deformed

Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice. “An attempt on my life by the Jedi has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger,” said Feinstein to roaring applause. “I feel great […]

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