Presidential hopeful Vivek Ramaswamy’s lack of foreign policy experience was brought into focus following last night’s Republican primary debate after it was pointed out that he has yet to bomb any brown people. “How can he expect to be considered a serious candidate?” asked one anonymous GOP insider.
“Bombing brown people in other countries is a cornerstone of any comprehensive presidential foreign policy. If he really wants people to consider voting for him, he needs to lay out his plan for bombing the browns.”
Other political analysts echoed the growing skepticism. “What do you mean he hasn’t bombed any brown folks?” asked former Vice President Dick Cheney, incredulously. “That Nikki Haley broad hasn’t bombed any brown people either, but even she’s dying to start a war. This Vivek character obviously doesn’t know how foreign policy works on even the most basic, fundamental level. Every American president is honor-bound to rain hellfire upon brown people.”
Despite the tremendous example of peace and prosperity modeled by the Trump administration without starting any foreign wars, the GOP has renewed its focus on instigating violent conflict around the world. “It’s time to move past Trump and get back to our bread and butter,” said former Vice President Mike Pence, “and that means bombing them browns.”
At publishing time, GOP insiders had also begun to question Vivek’s ability to lead effectively when they had no concrete proof that he would be willing to make strong promises and quickly turn on them and do the opposite thing once he was elected.