Marines Arrest Oregon AG for Treason

United States Marines on Monday arrested Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum on treason charges arising from unequivocal proof that the anti-Second Amendment AG had unconstitutionally petitioned law enforcement to conduct “wellness checks” on registered firearms owners in Grant, Baker, and other Republican-heavy counties—conservative bastions in a vividly progressive state.

Rosenblum is a radically liberal Democrat who held office between 2012 and her arrest Monday morning. Her tenure was spent on a single, twisted agenda: depriving Oregonians of their Second Amendment Right to Bear Arms. In furthering that goal, she, in 2022, co-authored Ballot Measure 114, which, though still in litigation, bans the use, possession, manufacturing, and transfer of ammunition magazines over 10 rounds; requires a permit-to-purchase (or transfer) a firearm; and requires law enforcement to maintain a registry of gun owners’ personal information contained in the permit application including – applicant’s legal name, current address and telephone number, date and place of birth, physical description, fingerprints, pictures, and ANY additional information determined necessary by law enforcement. Moreover, Rosenblum encouraged fanatical district attorneys to prosecute persons involved in self-defense shootings.

In January 2024 she complained to Governor Tina Kotek, an equally reprehensible individual who is currently under White Hat investigation, that anti-gun legislation was progressing too sluggishly. Kotek said she, too, pined for a gun-free Oregon but said her immediate priority was to expand LGBTQ+ rights in the state (Kotek is a self-admitted lesbian and a suspected transexual.) She told Rosenblum she’d hop on the anti-2A agenda when time allowed.

But Rosenblum was an impatient woman. So urgent was her desire to purge Oregon of civilian-owned firearms that she embarked on an aggressive, unilateral crusade replete with blunders. Her first mistake was bullying rural sheriffs who take their constitutional oath seriously. Her second mistake was not intuiting that some of those sheriffs had friends in the Armed Forces, among them a prominent 75th Ranger Regiment officer at Fort Moore, Georgia.

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“So, Gen. Smith gets this officer’s call. He tells the general that this witch of a woman AG is on a power trip commanding a sheriff’s department in central Oregon to make up excuses to grab guns from his constituents. And we’re not even talking about AR-style rifles. She meant hunting rifles, too. She sounded more like FEMA and the ATF than an AG. Anyway, the officer passes the info to Gen Smith and says he’d consider it a personal favor if his soldiers could arrest the traitor,” a source in General Smith’s office told Real Raw News.

He added that Gen. Smith ordered the Ranger to hold fast until he consulted with Vice Adm. Crandall at JAG. The admiral told Gen. Smith that if Rosenblum harassed one sheriff, she probably harried other sheriffs and asked him to discreetly probe other departments to determine the scope of Rosenblum’s treason.

“Discretion isn’t exactly my specialty,” Gen. Smith reportedly told Adm. Crandall.

“We’ll take care of that on my side, and I’ll get back in touch,” the admiral replied.

JAG quickly uncovered Rosenblum’s pervasive pattern of bias: She had tyrannized six—and possibly more—departments led by conservative, pro-2A sheriffs.

“The interesting thing is that JAG found no evidence that Rosenblum imposed her will on counties with a heavy liberal demographic,” our source said. Adm. Crandall agreed with Gen. Smith that Rosenblum was guilty of treason and was too dangerous to remain at large.”

On April 29, a Marine reconnaissance squad arrested Rosenblum as she stepped outside the front door of her Salem home. The mendacious hag flew into a fit of rage, flailing her arms and swiping at the Marines with pressed-on nails. Her tempestuous tirade ended abruptly when she hit the ground—a Marine had slugged her face so hard that her glasses went flying off her face.

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The Marines found a .380 pistol in her purse and a Glock42 in her glovebox.

“The typical rules for thee but not for me mentality—hypocrisy,” our source said. “Even getting rid of the little fish benefits society. Her days of terrorizing are over.”

Rosenblum was scheduled to retire from office at the end of 2024. Now, she’ll retire to GITMO.