Putin Laughs at International Arrest Warrant

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday laughed at news that an International Criminal Court (ICC) issued an arrest warrant in his name for allegedly abducting Ukrainian children, accusing him of the same crimes that Ukrainian pedophiles and their Western masters committed against countless Russian children since the start of his “Special Military Operation.”

FSB agent Andrei Zakharov told Real Raw News that word of the officious warrant humored rather than vexed the Russian president, who reportedly said, “If they want me, let them come, and we’ll see who’s left standing.”

Zakharov said the ICC, located in the Hague, Netherlands, is a nebulous, intergovernmental coalition of Deep State gangsters that takes orders from the criminal Biden regime and other Western Leaders. Putin, he added, expected false charges would be leveled against him. However, he hardly anticipated they’d accuse him of kidnapping Ukrainian children while over 10,000 Russian children are still missing and presumed to have been sold into child slavery or to Adrenochrome harvesting facilities in Ukraine.

Zakharov said Russian Spetznas are still valiantly hunting down Adrenochrome farms in hopes of rescuing the children and destroying all traces of a pharmaceutical concoction that Putin has called “the devil’s elixir.”

“It is common that the Deep State accuses its enemies of heinous crimes they perpetrate themselves. It is, how you say, oldest play in the book. We believe the American administration and the dog Zelenskyy, the real war criminals, pressured ICC to issue a warrant it cannot enforce. You think they will come to Moscow? No, of course not, because they are pu*****. Zelenskyy is the warmonger, not President Putin,” Zakharov said.

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A statement from the ICC naturally claimed the opposite, reading, “Mr. Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, born on 7 October 1952, President of the Russian Federation, is allegedly responsible for the war crime of unlawful deportation of the population (children) and that of unlawful transfer of population (children) from occupied areas of Ukraine to the Russian Federation….”

Zakharov said Russian forces had rescued 65,000 children since the conflict began, and he admitted that “some, a tiny minority” may be Ukrainian citizens.

“If any were Ukrainian, they were liberated from bondage and got food, housing, medical attention. This is not kidnapping. This is salvation,” Zakharov said.

Putin, he added, believes that the Biden regime and Zelenskyy will continue to systematically kidnap and torture young children to harvest their precious Adrenochrome, if not in Ukraine, then elsewhere—in countries ruled by feckless, feeble leaders too weak to resist the Deep State’s icy grip.

“Putin will fight child trafficking and Adrenochrome harvesting all across Eastern Europe if he must,” Zakharov said. “We will prevail. If they want Putin, they better bring guns instead of a warrant.”

In closing, Zakharov said Putin spoke briefly with President Trump early Friday evening, updating him on his victories over the Deep State in Ukraine. Putin also commented on reports that Trump may be indicted next week over the fictitious Stormy Daniels saga.

“Men like us, we don’t surrender to the Deep State,” Putin reportedly said.

Real Raw News reached out to two Mar-a-Lago sources to confirm the call. One wouldn’t comment, and the other would only say, “Rest assured, President Trump is safe. As for Putin, well, you know they keep in touch periodically.”

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