Charles Rettig Hanged at GITMO

On Tuesday morning, Vice Admiral Darse E. Crandall oversaw the execution of former IRS Commissioner Charles Rettig, whom JAG found guilty of stealing $40 billion that the federal government had already stolen from hardworking American taxpayers.

At approximately 10:00 a.m., armed military police escorted a forlorn Rettig from his Camp Delta holding cell to a newly erected row of gallows—10 of them—near Bargo Point, GITMO, where the admiral, a small ensemble of military brass, and an unnamed U.S. House Representative stood ready to hear the final lamentations of yet another doomed Deep State devil. The admiral thumbed through a list of scheduled executions on his tablet as MPs prodded a handcuffed Rettig up the steps leading to a rope. Rettig was greeted politely by a Navy chaplain who asked him whether he wanted Last Rites and told him that Jesus “is forgiving all the sins of people who are demonstrating genuine faith in him,” even the truly wicked.

“What has Jesus ever done for me. Leave me alone,” Rettig said.

“What have you done for Him?” the chaplain replied, descending the steps.

Rettig scowled at Adm. Crandall. “You’re so screwed. My people will tell the world what’s going on here.”

“Your people, and your peoples’ people, won’t say a word. They don’t want anyone to know their numbers are dwindling. And they’ll buy your family’s silence, and I do hope they accept the offer because the Deep State isn’t kind to the disobedient,” the admiral said.

“You’ll be killing an innocent man,” Rettig said.

“Says you,” the admiral said.

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The hangman beside Rettig put Rettig’s neck in a looped cord and pulled it taut.

“This isn’t enjoyable,” the admiral said.

“For you or me?” Rettig said.

Adm. Crandall ordered the hangman to trigger the gallows.

Rettig’s body hung in the breeze, his head tilted, his eyes bulging, perhaps with regret and fear. That his neck didn’t snap made the hanging more brutal.

He was lowered to the ground and pronounced dead at 11:05 a.m., August 15, 2023.