Democrats Hire Professional Puppeteer To Continue Operating Dianne Feinstein

Senate Democrats have recruited a professional puppeteer to assist 90-year-old Dianne Feinstein by moving her dead limbs and speaking for her whenever needed, according to sources. Feinstein is now expected to retain her senate seat forever. “Wow! She’s so lifelike now!” exclaimed Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. “And she tells great jokes!” The person who … Read more