Joe Biden was caught stumbling on camera before getting caught up in his dog’s leash and kicking him in the head. On Tuesday, Biden’s dog, Commander, reportedly bit another Secret Service agent — the 11th known incident in less than two years, as dog trainers warn Biden is to blame for the dog’s erratic and … Read more
Following last night’s second Republican presidential debate, former President Donald Trump expressed his gratitude to the other GOP candidates for providing such strong support for his nomination. “They obviously want me to be the nominee,” Trump said in brief remarks to reporters following his speech to a crowd of striking auto workers. “All of the … Read more
After yet another biting incident involving the Presidential pooch Commander, members of the White House staff and canine experts are at a loss as to how the dog learned such aggressive behavior in the first place. “There’s absolutely no one who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who exhibits erratic, aggressive, or violent tendencies …it’s a … Read more
In a statement given to a roomful of waitstaff at The French Laundry, California Governor Gavin Newsom declared California to be the freest state in the Union, and warned that anyone who disagreed would be arrested. “We believe in free speech and freedom here in the Golden State,” said Newsom while nibbling on a 3000-dollar … Read more
With the first Biden impeachment inquiry underway, Democrats reprimanded Republicans for pouncing on a decent old man, insisting the impeachment was just a waste of time because Biden would probably be dead in a few weeks anyway. “Just look at him! He makes me look like a Spring peach!” said a rotting Dianne Feinstein. Republicans … Read more
After another horrendously embarrassing day of gaffes for President Biden, White House aides decided to try removing his brain, blowing on it, then sticking it back in. “Worth a shot,” said aide Omar Gonzales. “It works on other ancient technology.” The White House decided to pursue the drastic course of action after Biden thanked the … Read more