In a last-ditch effort to stem the tide of illegal migrants crossing the border, locals in Arizona and Texas have resorted to hanging Bud Light signs all over the wall in hopes of scaring away would-be crossers. “Bud Light? ¡No bueno!” said one man from Ecuador upon seeing the signs. “I go home now.”
Sources say tens of thousands have already turned away after seeing the ads for the beer brand, now known around the world to be the official drink of the gay community. “Most of these traditional Catholic individuals want to be nowhere near the infamous beverage that threatens to turn them and their children gay,” said one official at the border. “I wish we had thought of this earlier!”
South of the Texas border, patrol units have also been handing out cases of Bud Light to bands of crossers, forcing them to flee in terror and take their chances out in the desert.
Officials are hoping for the crowds to be fully disbursed by the time Title 42 ends tomorrow.