To its great embarrassment, the National Basketball Association discovered last night that one of the teams in the league is actually named “The Nuggets”. “The…Nuggets? Are you for real??” asked Adam Silver, NBA Commissioner. “Is the owner a middle school boy?”
After the discovery, league officials set about trying to ascertain what exactly a “Nugget” is supposed to be. “Please tell me the mascot isn’t a set of balls,” said Commissioner Silver. “Anything else, I can live with. Is it a chicken nugget? It’s hard to envision a man dressed as a chicken nugget flying off a trampoline for a dunk. What the heck is it??”
Upon questioning by the Commissioner, sources within the Nuggets organization tried to pass off the team name as referencing small lumps of precious metal. “Yes Mr. Commissioner, we thought long and hard to come up with the most inspiring, fierce mascot possible,” explained Nuggets President Stan Kroenke. “And we landed on tiny chunks of native metals. Oh, who am I fooling? They’re balls, Mr. Silver.”
At publishing time, Commissioner Silver was in further disbelief after learning the Nuggets had actually won the NBA championship, led by a 7-foot-tall Serbian who looks like an accountant.