According to sources, President Biden’s son Hunter was seen over the weekend dropping off another truckload of salacious family secrets and criminal evidence at the local Goodwill donation center, as is his custom. “I’m just trying to clean house and make some more room for my Xbox games,” said Hunter to one witness while holding a large box labeled “ASHLEY BIDEN’S DIARIES, 1990-1999.”
“I’m sure it’s no big deal, but please don’t tell my Dad I’m dropping these off.”
Sources say he then proceeded to offload more boxes bearing labels like “CHINESE STATE SECRETS,” “UKRAINE BRIBERY RECORDS,” and “THOUSANDS OF PICTURES OF UNDERAGE SEX WORKERS FROM SERBIA.”
“I can’t really use this stuff anymore, so I hope it goes to a good home,” said Hunter. “I’m sure none of this will ever come back to bite me or anyone in my family.”
At publishing time, Hunter had also been seen dropping off the nuclear football at the Best Buy Geek Squad counter.