According to sources, Hunter Biden’s plea deal fell through in court today after his bribery check to the judge bounced due to insufficient funds. “We are disappointed with the judge’s decision, but we are confident things will be made right once another transfer from Ukraine clears in one of Hunter’s offshore accounts,” said Biden’s legal … Read more
An unexpected period of sudden transition swept through the nation’s capital today after the White House announced President Joe Biden had to be put down after yet another incident in which he bit a baby. Vice President Kamala Harris will now ascend to the presidency. “He had just become too dangerous and unpredictable,” said Press … Read more
A strange cocaine-like substance discovered at a federal court Wednesday definitely did not belong to Hunter Biden despite it being found on his courtroom chair. The Secret Service detail charged with protecting the president’s son says the illegal-like substance was probably left by “a tour group or something.” “Courtrooms have tours, right? From kids on … Read more
In an attempt to increase his credibility on the street, rapper-actor Ice Cube booked an appearance on conservative media pundit Tucker Carlson’s show on Twitter (AKA “X”), thinking anyone seeing him hanging around Carlson will have no doubt he’s a tough customer. “If you want people to think you’re hardcore, you gotta be around Tucker,” … Read more
NCAA Women’s Soccer fell into controversy this week when, during a match, a transgender player was outed during a free kick. The player who goes by Girlina McWumen is currently under investigation. “Our suspicions first arose when the muscle-bound player took position to block the free kick and placed his — err — her hands … Read more
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell suddenly stopped speaking during a weekly Republican leadership news conference Wednesday afternoon, appearing to freeze, and then went silent and was walked away. McConnell, R-Ky., had been making his opening remarks about an annual defense policy bill when he stopped talking. He was silent for 19 seconds. His Republican colleagues … Read more
The media and general public were collectively unsure how to respond today, as a visiting “alien commander” from space held a press conference to ask the people of Earth to provide his planet with $40 billion in foreign aid, though witnesses said the being bore more than a passing resemblance to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky … Read more
Restored Republic via a GCR Update as of July 27, 2023: The latest video will be shown earlier at the official website, restoredrepublic. C o. Judy note, on Tuesday, 25th of July Bruce reported that the new financial system QFS would start implementation at midnight, Tuesday, 25th of July and complete at midnight Wednesday night, … Read more
JUDY BYINGTON BIG UPDATE: Restored Republic via a GCR Update as of July 27, 2023: The latest video will be shown earlier at the official website, restoredrepublic. C o. Judy note, on Tuesday, 25th of July Bruce reported that the new financial system QFS would start implementation at midnight, Tuesday, 25th of July and complete … Read more